Sometimes when we look into a mirror, we see bitterness, resentment, depression, anger, or fear, and we think, Oh, oh--I just saw a reflection of my wife [or my husband].  Maybe we did. But if we're honest, most of the time we'll have to admit that we actually were seeing ourselves.

"But," someone objects, "you don't know my husband. The State of Florida has a lemon law. lt says that when you buy a car that turns out to be a lemon, you can take it back. Pastor, I think I married a lemon. I need a new husband."

You may be absolutely correct. Maybe you do need a new husband. Maybe if I knew your husband as well as you do, I would agree with you. But there's always the possibility that he needs a new wife! As a minister of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, I can guarantee that, as you begin to let Jesus make you what He wants you to be, you will soon find that you do have a new husband. I'm not exactly sure what he'lI be like, but I know for sure that when your life begins to exhibit the character of Jesus, the other members of your family will change.

But a caution: We must allow God to bring changes into out own lives without condition. Often we are willing to make a conditional change. Our "contract"—which may be unspoken—goes something like this: "I'll change if he (or she) will change. But if he (or she) won't change, then I reserve the right to be what I've alway been."

The fact is, I take a bath, I comb my hair, and I put on deodorant every day whether or not the other members of the family do. Sometimes all we can do is be the best we can be in our own life and hope that sooner or later the others will get the message.  It could be later rather than sooner. I've heard of some family members who had to wait forty years for their loved ones to change. The Bible doesn't say "Here is the patience of the saints" for nothing! But it need not take that long for us to see a change in our own lives.

At the end of the day, salvation is a very personal thing.  My salvation is not about my wife and me or the children and me. My salvation is between Jesus and me. There is great comfort in the thought, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may beable to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13),

lt's not my intention to determine where to place the blame for everything going on in our families. What I've been trying to say is that, before we do a study on what kind of people our spouses or our children ought to be, let's put first things first. Let's make a daily habit of looking at ourselves in the mirror of God's Word and asking ourselves what kind of people we ought to be. If God indeed needs to come in to change your home and mine, why shouldn't you and I be the first ones to open out hearts and let Him in? For starters, a changed home needs a changed me.  Lord, Save my Family, pp. 34-35.